Breaking Down Some Election Speak

Found something interesting in the Globe and Mail today highlighting the energy platforms of three of the parties in the upcoming Ontario election.  Strangely absent is the platform of the Green Party…that is, THE PARTY WHOSE PLATFORM SHOULD PROBABLY BE EXAMINED WITH REGARD TO MATTERS ON ENERGY AND THE ENVIRONMENT.  Anyway, I’ll let the Globe and Mail explain that one…

The chart itself would take a while to type out here, so let’s just look at one section and then see what each statement really means.

Coal

Liberals – Phase out coal-fired power by 2014.

What this really means: Who cares what it really means?  We can say whatever we want and just break the promise.  Plus, a good chunk of you will be dead by 2014 anyway…half of you from waiting to see somebody in an emergency room.

PC – Phase out coal when it is practical to do so: in the meantime, spend $1-billion on technology to reduce smog-causing pollution.

What this really means: This is politics see? It is never practical to do anything until 30 days before the next election.  So if we are elected, expect us to do something about it a week before we are looking for re-election.  If we aren’t elected, we would have taken care of this next week.  In the meantime, a billion dollars should go a long way in preventing pollution right?  Pollution isn’t everywhere, is it?

NDP – Close down coal by 2014.

What this really means: Hell, we could tell you that Batman is going to come and breathe so deeply that he would suck in all of the pollution in the air and that it wouldn’t harm him because he had already coated the lining of his stomach with some sealant in his utility belt.  What does it matter to us?  We aren’t even going to come close to winning this thing. We’re still trying to figure out how to open the cargo doors on our bus.

This is the first Ontario election where I really have no idea who I am going to vote for.  From what I’ve seen so far, I feel even more lost than the day before.

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