I’m Black, Which Apparently Means I Know Everything About Anything Related to Black People or “The Islands”…

Last week, I hadn’t prepared anything for dinner, so I figured it was just as good of a night as any for some roti.  Wife and kid like it, I like it, everyone’s happy.

So I stop in at this roti shop and order up a few, but while I am waiting, I head over to a bike shop to pick up a piece for my mountain bike after some hard riding resulted in a snapped dropout.Â

While I am in the bike shop, a man and woman (I am guessing they were Trinnies) are talking about coconut water.  Swear to God.  This is the actual conversation. I felt like I had walked into an episode of Da Kink in My Hair (which is actually pretty funny, check it out).  So they stop talking so that the guy can attend to my mountain bike woes and as he goes into the back to check for the part, the woman turns to me and says, “Oh, YOU must know, where can I find fresh coconut water around here?”

Why must I know?  When I need anyting West Indian, I go to Nicey’s.  Simple.  There are a few other W.I. shops around town and the Chinese shops carry a lot of the same things too.  Anyway, if you’re looking for FRESH coconut water, take your damn ass back to the islands.  I mean, really.  You can’t get FRESH coconut water in Canada.  Look outside.Â

But the thing I find hilarious is that these situations always come up where people will think I know something just because I am black.  It has nothing to do with being in touch with my background or anything like that, it is just everyday stuff that where people say, “Oh Jay, you MUST know…where can I find the best oxtail soup in the city?”  or “Jay, you MUST know what the Jamaican guys in the barber shop are talking about, right”.  What?!!  I’ll tell you something right now, I know a lot of JAMAICAN people who don’t know what those Jamaican guys in the barber shop are saying.Â

Okay, well, that’s pretty much it.


  1. avatar Helen Says:

    because I’m asian, people always walk up to me and ask me to solve differential equations… it’s a real pain in the ass

  2. avatar Jay Says:

    But do they also ask you where the best Pho in town is? You tell them that you’re not Vietnamese, but they say, “Yeah, but you must know, right?” If not, wait for it.

  3. avatar N Says:

    I love it when I am asked about ethnic stuff, as I just make up stories, most of the time, I get Brazil, not from there, never been, but always ready to create some fantastical stories. IT’S FUN. FUN.

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