Five Random Things Women Do That I Find Terribly Hot

Everybody has strange things that drive them crazy…and by crazy, I mean good crazy.  Wild.  Heart pounding, blood pumping, mind numbing crazy.  Most of the time, you really can’t explain why when the opposite sex (or for some, the same sex) does something, it just works for you.  You can think back to your youth and wonder if it originated there, but most of the time you will just end up with a headache, the feeling will be gone and you will be upset because you just ruined everything for yourself, but if you are smart, you will just enjoy the dumb love and not think about anything but that specific thing.

Anyway, I started thinking about some of the things that drive me crazy (again, good crazy…if we were to talk about bad crazy, this would turn into a serious essay and I would have all sorts of footnotes) and figured I would list some of them here in no particular order.  My only fear is that by actually writing about them, I will start to think about them too much and in a few months I will be writing about things that used to drive me good crazy that now drive me bad crazy.  Well, look for that in a few months and if it happens, I will tell myself that I told myself so.

1. Women at the gym who are listening to their iPod while working out, but don’t use an armband. I don’t know what it is about this that drives me crazy, but I seriously love it.  When I am at the gym, I am pretty focused.  My hat is pulled down right over my eyes, I have a routine that is planned out in my head, I get my stuff done and get out.  You can’t really distract me.  I have run into friends at the gym who have apparently been trying to get my attention, but I don’t even see them until they grab me.  But if a (fit) woman walks by with her iPod tucked into the top of her pants or inside the front of her shirt, I turn into a gawking schoolboy.  Okay, so since I have been thinking about it, here is my theory.  I think that it is just a little bit of a tease, a hint that “Hey, this piece of clothing is now a little bit easier to take off now that I have created a place to grab…or maybe for you to grab.”  Yes, that’s my big theory.  Anyway, I love it.

2. When a woman corrects me on something that I think I know stone cold. For example, I am a baseball freak.  It’s my favourite sport.  For some reason, I can remember random facts, plays and games without even trying that hard.  I can relate almost any life situation into something that happens in baseball and I have helped a lot of people deal with some of their issues (and to be honest, some of my own) with baseball stories.  So let’s say I am talking about when the Jays won their first World Series and I mistakenly say, “My favourite part of the celebration was when Jimmy Key comes running out, slips and ends up on the bottom of the pile”, but then a woman says, “Actually, that was Dave Steib who slipped and ended up getting crushed on the bottom of the pile.”  If you are the woman who said this, you just gained some serious hotness.

3. Women who have their hair down and then put it up, or have it up and then let it down…but are just doing it without trying to make a statement. So let’s say some random hot woman (yeah, for most of these things, you have to at least start out with some kind of hotness or else it is going to take a few bevvies for anything to work) is at her computer and her hair keeps falling in front of her face.  She decides to put it up and while she is doing this, whatever it is that she is going to use to keep her hair up is being held in her mouth while she is getting her hair set.  Done.  Hot.  Conversely, if she is trying to make this hot or is taking her hair out and trying to wave it around like some stupid Pantene commercial, then I roll my eyes and turn around.

4.  A woman who isn’t afraid to drop an F-bomb every once in a while…even when she isn’t angry. Now I’m not talking somebody who is a potty-mouthed trucker, I’m just talking about a woman who knows how to use a well-placed F-bomb to emphasize a point.  Some people argue that people who swear are just unable to properly articulate their feelings, but I believe that those who know how to effectively swear are actually more able to properly articulate their feelings and aren’t afraid to do so…and this ladies and gentlemen, in a nutshell, is why I didn’t become an English teacher as many people thought I should have.

5.  A woman who doesn’t mind wearing a ball cap and a beat-up t-shirt. Any guy wants the woman he is with at the moment to look good, but it’s not like you have to look like you are going on the runway all of the time.  Throw on a grey t-shirt, a Redskins cap and we’re good to go.  But if you are wearing a cap and it isn’t one of my favourite teams, you had better REALLY be a damn fan of that team.

Alright, that’s it.  Well, that’s not really it, but that’s all I am willing to divulge for now.

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